Pursuit of Passion

Had an interesting conversation a few days ago with a group of friends about pursuing our passions in life. There is a lot of talk, examples, and success stories of people quitting their job to pursue a passion and I love reading that kind of stuff. But an interesting point was brought up during our conversation that I haven’t seen addressed as often. Here it is:

What do you do if you have the driving feeling to do something different, something great, and/or something new but you don’t know what that is? In other words, you feel like you should be pursuing your passion, but you don’t know what your passion is.

I thought this was an interesting question. When it was brought up, I realized I have felt some variant of this at times in my own life.

How about for you? Have you ever felt driven or anxious to do something but not known what that something is? Is this a common feeling? How did you overcome it? I would love to hear your thoughts.

Self Imposed Deadlines

For as long as I can remember, I have had a lot of ideas swimming around my head. Even as a kid, I was amused by things around me that got my mind going. To call me curious would be an understatement. And while I am forever grateful for my curiosity, it can make execution difficult. Add being a perfectionist to the mix, and you have a perfect cocktail for a lot of dreaming and not a lot of doing. I know I am not alone in this. I talk to others on a regular basis who face the same struggle—I believe it is at the core of human nature. Some call it fear of success, some call it fear of failure, and I have even recently heard it referred to as the lizard brain. Whatever you call it, it is real, but it is only as strong as we allow it to be—which sounds nice, but is sometimes easier said than done.

I have been very blessed in my life to have some incredible experiences. All in all, I am a very lucky man. But as I look back on my life, I can distinctly see the mental barriers that slowed me down or even stopped me from pursuing certain opportunities. I look back on my past with a sort of fond determination. Fond because I am full of gratitude for where I am, and determination because I am always striving for more. It is a delicate balance—one I am working everyday to achieve.

There are several tools I use to help fight the blocks and overcome the nebulous cloud of ideas floating around my brain, but there is one in particular I am especially excited about and want to share here. I recently organized a small group of close friends to form a creative consortium of sorts. We meet every week on a weekday morning. The group is designed to serve three purposes.

1) Give each of us a platform to share our ideas and crystallize them into coherent thoughts. And I mean ANY idea. So far we have discussed everything from Sketch Comedy and Comic Books, to E-commerce and sales efficiency and beyond.

2) Use honest feedback to decide which ideas are worth pursuing. This is the weeding out process. After we empty our brains out into reality, we start picking the best ideas.

3) To execute, or as Seth Godin puts it: to ship. Through the group, we impose self deadlines and we actually report our progress to the group each week. On top of that, each week one of the group members has the chance to present and discuss their most exciting ideas.

I am very excited for where this might take us.

Guest Appearance on Job Club Radio

Earlier this week, I had the opportunity to talk with Robert Merrill and Jennifer Armitstead as a guest on their weekly Job Club Radio podcast.

I had a great time. We discussed my recent post about lying to yourself, and how the concept applies to personal and career development. If you missed the live show, you can listen to it on demand on Blogtalkradio. Please feel free to come back and share your thoughts here in the comments.

Focus and the future: America’s Public Transit Dilemma

After spending a couple of years in Europe, I realized just how limited the public transit network is in the US. Some cities are better than others, but overall we are pretty behind. This is especially true in regards to interstate travel. In recent years, as energy costs have continued to rise, this issue has been pushed to the forefront of American political and environmental debates. So what happened? Why did America spend its time, money and energy building cars and roads while other nations focused on rail, bus and subways? The answer is simply really, it was a matter of choice.

In the post WWII era, America’s focus was clearly based on the belief that cars were the future of transportation. And they (cars) did become the future of transportation, because that's where the focus went. Get it? America believed cars were the answer, so accordingly, we built factories that built cars, started business to repair the cars, and built more roads etc. Our reality is a literal result of our focus, our energy and our actions. Other nations took a different approach. At varying levels, they chose to focus on building railroads, buses, and subway stations.

So here we are today, and after years of focusing on the car, America is struggling to catch up with other transportation infrastructures. Were we wrong to assume cars were the future? That’s a hard question, because we can’t know how everything would have played out, and I don’t think we need to know. But I believe there is an important business and life lesson here: The things we focus on today will become our reality. Accordingly, it is vital that we ask ourselves the following questions:

“Are there things I am focusing on today, that I will regret in the future?” and “What am I failing to focus on now that I will need in the future?”

Those are tough questions, because we can’t see the future, and in order to move forward, we have to make decisions, set goals, and work hard to achieve them--but there is always value in taking a step back and looking at the bigger picture.

You can't lie to yourself

It is pretty difficult to lie to ourselves. Darn near impossible. Sure, we can lie to friends, neighbors, coworkers and even family—in fact, some people are pretty good at it. But we can’t lie to ourselves, because no matter how clever our words, no matter how persuasive our argument, we know the truth. Try and tell yourself you don’t know the truth, and it just complicates things even more.

This is what I attribute to that eating feeling you get when you are not living up to your potential. When you are sitting in front of the TV instead of writing a chapter in your book. When you are surfing the web instead of setting goals. Sleeping in instead of working out. Wandering aimlessly, waiting for the next idea to come around instead of creating a strategy. You know what you should be doing, but you aren’t doing it. And as much as we like to deny it, that is a conscious decision. So you get that pit in your stomach, that nagging feeling in the back of your mind. I have never met anyone who likes that feeling. I know I don’t. The interesting thing is that despite how bad we hate it, so many of us put up with it for so long. We look for ways to ignore it, to justify it, or to delay it, but those solutions aren’t permanent and neither is our relief.

The only real solution is to stop hiding and start doing.

Greatest Personal Sports Triumph

I am a sucker for sports. I have never been an elite athlete, but I love playing just about every sport I have ever tried. I think it's the challenge of competition and overcoming your own weaknesses. If you fit somewhere in the category of sports lover, you will really enjoy this blog post I found which invites the readers to discuss their greatest personal sports triumph. I have already commented, and I would love to see what you have to say as well (if you do comment there, please comment here too so the rest of us can go read and enjoy.) For some reason both of the stories I told there result in the receiving of a nickname. I am open to theories on what that means, if anything...

The blog was introduced to me by Tim Walker. Go check it out for yourself (If you don't know who Tim is, you really should, he is great)

(On a side note, I also tend to cry during sports movies at the most inopportune times)

The Five Minute Rule

Sometimes, despite our best efforts to remain positive and solutions oriented, our anger, frustration or apathy get the best of us. Often it is a perfect storm of all three. In times like this, it is hard not to be negative or complain. Sometimes, some people just need to vent. This reality does not refute the idea of remaining positive in the face of adversity. In fact, ignoring the “bad stuff” that happens to us is not a good idea. Plus, it’s probably not healthy. A far better way is to recognize events for what they are, and then actively choose what type of effect we will ALLOW it to have on our life. By doing this rather than ignoring realities, we actually increase our capacity for actively choosing the meaning we place on events in our life. Like just about everything else in our lives, we get better with practice.

The Five Minute Rule is a simple tool for practicing the art of focusing on the good rather than the bad. It’s easy to complain, and if we are searching for them, there are plenty of things to think and feel negatively about. For example: how often is our first morning conversation in the office about “how terrible traffic was on the way in?” It may seem little, but we are constantly training our minds how to think and act. Starting your day(s) with a bad attitude sets a dangerous precedence, and can make it increasingly difficult to change your attitude later.

The Five Minute Rule helps to greatly reduce negative thinking. It works like this: if you are going to be negative; if you are JUST TOO MAD to be positive; if you’ve had enough, and you NEED to vent; that’s fine. You now have five minutes to get over it. You might need less, you can’t have more. It is important that you stick to five minutes. If necessary, find a clock or a watch with an alarm and set it. Seriously. Mentally and/or vocally announce when your five minutes start and stop. When your five minutes are up, you are not allowed to think, act, or talk negatively. That’s not to say you can’t talk about the event(s) that set you off in the first place, but after five minutes, its time to start changing the way you think about the events and the amount of focus you give them.

The Five Minute Rule can be difficult at first. Especially if you have built your reality around attaching negative thoughts and emotions to a majority of the events that take place in your life. When used correctly, however, the Five Minute Rule can have a significant impact on your life, your family, or your office/team. Imagine working on a team without negativity—how much more could you accomplish?

Try the Five Minute rule, and please feel free to share any thoughts, feelings, or experiences you have as a result.

Why am I not Selling Anything?

While working in direct sales, I had the opportunity to help new sales people improve their results. Many of those I worked with were trying sales for the first time. Whenever someone was struggling, we would bring them in for some personal coaching. The coaching session consisted of 5 issues we had identified as the key reasons they wouldn’t be selling very well. I believe these are also relevant outside of the direct sales arena. Here they are:

1) Not doing enough appointments/calls
2) Not doing sales calls with the right people
3) Don’t believe in the product/price etc.
4) No confidence in their ability to sell.
5) No confidence in peoples’ ability to buy

What issues have kept you from achieving the results you want in the past?

3 Factors for Success

I have often weighed in on the debate of what makes someone successful. I.E. What makes someone good at sales? What makes someone land their ideal job? What gives someone that little extra something needed to succeed? I’ve read all sorts of books on the subject, listened to several speakers, and absorbed a hearty portion of advice.

Here are three key factors that I have come to hold as absolutely necessary.

1) Confidence and Enthusiasm-
In your product. In your service. In yourself. If don’t have it, others (customers) can tell--No matter how hard you try to mask it with clever slogans or polished words.
In other words, if you are selling a product that you believe is high on price and low on value, one that your customer shouldn’t buy, then why would they?

If you don’t have confidence and enthusiasm, you might still see some success, but you won’t last. You can’t last. Why would you want to last? You must love your product (service, self etc.). Study it. Know it. Use it.

2) Mental toughness-
This one gets all sorts of different names. Iron will, determination, tenacity…etc. etc.
I call it: Riding the Wave. Despite the fun sounding surfer reference, riding the wave is actually a very hard and dangerous thing to do.

Picture in your mind a wave with peaks and valleys. This horizon created by the wave in your imagination is like a timeline of life. We have ups, we have downs. People tell us YES, and people tell us NO. We make the sale, we loose the sale. We land a great job, we blow an interview. These things are realities. Obviously, losing a sale is not as exciting as closing a great deal, but we do have the capability to decrease the distance between the crests and the troughs. There are a lot of ways to do this, which just got my cogs churning for another blog post. Suffice it to say here that successful people stay above the wave. Their thoughts and emotions are independent of their environment. Their mind is not shaped by the daily ups and downs.

3) Hard Work
Yup. Sorry. Your dad/mom/uncle/grandma (whoa, weird visual…) was right. Its all about hard work. Hard work will trump talent—at least in the long run. In a boxing match, talent may take rounds 1 and 2. It might event take rounds 3, 4 and 5, but in the end it will be hard work with the huge golden belt and million dollar contract at the MGM grand.

Remember this: It doesn’t matter how phenomenal you are as a sales person, it doesn’t matter how mind-blowing your presentations are if THERE IS NO ONE TO GIVE THEM TO. Sales, especially, is largely a numbers game. Although it is important to increase your efficiency, hard work is vital.

The same is true in other areas of life. I have seen countless, seemingly ordinary people out work those around them and rise to great heights. Go to your local Barnes and Noble and you will find hundreds of books telling such stories.

Final thought: Here is the great thing about these 3 keys: they apply to all areas of life. Try it. Stop and think about any area of your life and apply these principles. Rinse and repeat.

Taking the Leap

About 2 months ago (before this blog existed), the following question was posted on LinkedIn:

Taking a quantum leap...

From your experience, what is the biggest obstacle already successful individuals face in taking their lives to the next level?

Here was my response:

“I believe Jim Collins has an excellent answer for this in his book Good to Great. He suggests that "good" is acutally the enemy of "great". I believe this is why many people do not take it to the next level ( or become great). They are content with being good. I also believe the standards we set for ourselves have a significant impact on our results. We must constantly reevaluate our own personal (or corporate, family etc.) performance standards in order to grow. When the level you are at no longer excites you, drives you, impassionates you, you have to change your standards and push yourself further.”

I decided to start posting some of my answers to questions on LinkedIn because I don't have as much time to dedicate to the blog as I would like.

Best Business Books of All Time

Recently, on linkedin, I posed the question: "What is the greatest business/self-help book of all time?" The question had a great response that I thought I would share. Below is a list of the books suggested by fellow linkedin members. (The list is in no particular order, and duplicates have been only listed once.)

• Do What you Love and The Money will Follow
• Get Better or Get Beaten
• Eat that Frog
• One Minute Manager
• The Present
• Team of Rivals (History of the Lincoln Administration)
• Fred Factor
• Raving Fans
• Who Moved My Cheese?
• 7 Habits of Highly Effective People
• The Eighth Habit
• Anything By Peter Drucker
• Road less Traveled
• Winners Never Cheat
• Greatest Salesman in the World
• 5 People You Meet in Heaven
• Atlas Shrugged
• The Fifth Discipline: The Art and Practice of the Learning Organization
• Co-Opetition : A Revolution Mindset That Combines ...
• The Secret
• The Monk and The Executive
• Success is no Accident
• Never Give Up Your Dreams
• Made to Stick
• How to be Rich
• How to Win Friends and Influence People
• Think and Grow Rich
• Good To Great
• Leaderhip and Self-Deception
• The E-Myth Revisited
• Ultimate Marketing Plan
• The New Psycho Cybernetics
• Becoming a Person of Influence
• How Full is Your Bucket?

I debated back and forth whether I should post the entire list. In the end, I decided to post most of the suggestions that were given to me. I was surprised at the variety. Have one to add? Please leave your suggestions in the comments section or email me.