Focus and the future: America’s Public Transit Dilemma

After spending a couple of years in Europe, I realized just how limited the public transit network is in the US. Some cities are better than others, but overall we are pretty behind. This is especially true in regards to interstate travel. In recent years, as energy costs have continued to rise, this issue has been pushed to the forefront of American political and environmental debates. So what happened? Why did America spend its time, money and energy building cars and roads while other nations focused on rail, bus and subways? The answer is simply really, it was a matter of choice.

In the post WWII era, America’s focus was clearly based on the belief that cars were the future of transportation. And they (cars) did become the future of transportation, because that's where the focus went. Get it? America believed cars were the answer, so accordingly, we built factories that built cars, started business to repair the cars, and built more roads etc. Our reality is a literal result of our focus, our energy and our actions. Other nations took a different approach. At varying levels, they chose to focus on building railroads, buses, and subway stations.

So here we are today, and after years of focusing on the car, America is struggling to catch up with other transportation infrastructures. Were we wrong to assume cars were the future? That’s a hard question, because we can’t know how everything would have played out, and I don’t think we need to know. But I believe there is an important business and life lesson here: The things we focus on today will become our reality. Accordingly, it is vital that we ask ourselves the following questions:

“Are there things I am focusing on today, that I will regret in the future?” and “What am I failing to focus on now that I will need in the future?”

Those are tough questions, because we can’t see the future, and in order to move forward, we have to make decisions, set goals, and work hard to achieve them--but there is always value in taking a step back and looking at the bigger picture.

You can't lie to yourself

It is pretty difficult to lie to ourselves. Darn near impossible. Sure, we can lie to friends, neighbors, coworkers and even family—in fact, some people are pretty good at it. But we can’t lie to ourselves, because no matter how clever our words, no matter how persuasive our argument, we know the truth. Try and tell yourself you don’t know the truth, and it just complicates things even more.

This is what I attribute to that eating feeling you get when you are not living up to your potential. When you are sitting in front of the TV instead of writing a chapter in your book. When you are surfing the web instead of setting goals. Sleeping in instead of working out. Wandering aimlessly, waiting for the next idea to come around instead of creating a strategy. You know what you should be doing, but you aren’t doing it. And as much as we like to deny it, that is a conscious decision. So you get that pit in your stomach, that nagging feeling in the back of your mind. I have never met anyone who likes that feeling. I know I don’t. The interesting thing is that despite how bad we hate it, so many of us put up with it for so long. We look for ways to ignore it, to justify it, or to delay it, but those solutions aren’t permanent and neither is our relief.

The only real solution is to stop hiding and start doing.

The Five Minute Rule

Sometimes, despite our best efforts to remain positive and solutions oriented, our anger, frustration or apathy get the best of us. Often it is a perfect storm of all three. In times like this, it is hard not to be negative or complain. Sometimes, some people just need to vent. This reality does not refute the idea of remaining positive in the face of adversity. In fact, ignoring the “bad stuff” that happens to us is not a good idea. Plus, it’s probably not healthy. A far better way is to recognize events for what they are, and then actively choose what type of effect we will ALLOW it to have on our life. By doing this rather than ignoring realities, we actually increase our capacity for actively choosing the meaning we place on events in our life. Like just about everything else in our lives, we get better with practice.

The Five Minute Rule is a simple tool for practicing the art of focusing on the good rather than the bad. It’s easy to complain, and if we are searching for them, there are plenty of things to think and feel negatively about. For example: how often is our first morning conversation in the office about “how terrible traffic was on the way in?” It may seem little, but we are constantly training our minds how to think and act. Starting your day(s) with a bad attitude sets a dangerous precedence, and can make it increasingly difficult to change your attitude later.

The Five Minute Rule helps to greatly reduce negative thinking. It works like this: if you are going to be negative; if you are JUST TOO MAD to be positive; if you’ve had enough, and you NEED to vent; that’s fine. You now have five minutes to get over it. You might need less, you can’t have more. It is important that you stick to five minutes. If necessary, find a clock or a watch with an alarm and set it. Seriously. Mentally and/or vocally announce when your five minutes start and stop. When your five minutes are up, you are not allowed to think, act, or talk negatively. That’s not to say you can’t talk about the event(s) that set you off in the first place, but after five minutes, its time to start changing the way you think about the events and the amount of focus you give them.

The Five Minute Rule can be difficult at first. Especially if you have built your reality around attaching negative thoughts and emotions to a majority of the events that take place in your life. When used correctly, however, the Five Minute Rule can have a significant impact on your life, your family, or your office/team. Imagine working on a team without negativity—how much more could you accomplish?

Try the Five Minute rule, and please feel free to share any thoughts, feelings, or experiences you have as a result.

Staying Focused on what is most important

It is easy in today's high stress, demanding world to get caught up in day-to-day activities. When we do this, we often lose sight of the big picture. On a deep level, why are we even here--what is the point of our existence? On a less deep level, what makes me the most happy? It is interesting that we often find ourselves devoting much more energy to work, school, or hobbies, than we do our family or other personal relationships. It is intriguing how differently we might treat daily acquaintances compared to how we treat our loved ones. Isn't it interesting that often our acquaintances, business partners, or school mates get treated with courtesy and respect, but when we get home, our attitudes change, and we seem to forget we are now dealing with the people who are the most important.Making ourselves aware of what is most important must be done everyday, and in many instances several times throughout the day. The better we are able to achieve this, the more aligned our priorities become.

Decide what is most important to you, and ask yourself: How much energy do I devote to this aspect of my life? This isnt always easy. In my own life, I often get bogged down with school and work, which leaves less time than I would like for my family. But I have found that when I make a concentrated effort to put more "energy" (and not always more minutes of the day) into my relationship with my wife, son and the spiritual part of my life, everything else tends to fall into place."...happiness then is not an event, but a journey"