Sometimes, despite our best efforts to remain positive and solutions oriented, our anger, frustration or apathy get the best of us. Often it is a perfect storm of all three. In times like this, it is hard not to be negative or complain. Sometimes, some people just need to vent. This reality does not refute the idea of remaining positive in the face of adversity. In fact, ignoring the “bad stuff” that happens to us is not a good idea. Plus, it’s probably not healthy. A far better way is to recognize events for what they are, and then actively choose what type of effect we will ALLOW it to have on our life. By doing this rather than ignoring realities, we actually increase our capacity for actively choosing the meaning we place on events in our life. Like just about everything else in our lives, we get better with practice.
The Five Minute Rule is a simple tool for practicing the art of focusing on the good rather than the bad. It’s easy to complain, and if we are searching for them, there are plenty of things to think and feel negatively about. For example: how often is our first morning conversation in the office about “how terrible traffic was on the way in?” It may seem little, but we are constantly training our minds how to think and act. Starting your day(s) with a bad attitude sets a dangerous precedence, and can make it increasingly difficult to change your attitude later.
The Five Minute Rule helps to greatly reduce negative thinking. It works like this: if you are going to be negative; if you are JUST TOO MAD to be positive; if you’ve had enough, and you NEED to vent; that’s fine. You now have five minutes to get over it. You might need less, you can’t have more. It is important that you stick to five minutes. If necessary, find a clock or a watch with an alarm and set it. Seriously. Mentally and/or vocally announce when your five minutes start and stop. When your five minutes are up, you are not allowed to think, act, or talk negatively. That’s not to say you can’t talk about the event(s) that set you off in the first place, but after five minutes, its time to start changing the way you think about the events and the amount of focus you give them.
The Five Minute Rule can be difficult at first. Especially if you have built your reality around attaching negative thoughts and emotions to a majority of the events that take place in your life. When used correctly, however, the Five Minute Rule can have a significant impact on your life, your family, or your office/team. Imagine working on a team without negativity—how much more could you accomplish?
Try the Five Minute rule, and please feel free to share any thoughts, feelings, or experiences you have as a result.
